We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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