Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize