I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
