Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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