I'm going to jail i love you
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
