If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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