you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
