yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
