Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
