he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
