I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
