even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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