Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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