she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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