Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize