Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize