Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize