she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
