Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
