I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
