even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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