Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
