More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize