Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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