I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The adults are the big ones right?
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