Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
