Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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