it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
