Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
