perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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