hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
