idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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