i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
