I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
