I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
