maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
