very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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