one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize