no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
