so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
