wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
