i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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