Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize