rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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