My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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