yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
