so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Are my feet made of real feet?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
