If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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