Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
