Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
