It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
