Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
