help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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