I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My penis needs a shock collar
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
