he was CRYING into my vagina
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he fucked my hip out of place.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My vagina is officially offended.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
