My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
