Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
