I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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