awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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