So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
